In search of me

Everything is wrong, I don’t know where I am

What I want to be or where, I don’t understand.

At five years of age I wanted to be a farmer

But that dream is long forgotten.

At 10 it was an astronomer,

I still think about it often.

At 15 that dream turned to an author

I wrote all that I could,

Only to realize it was immature,

I would never be as good as I should.

I dreamt of making the world a better place,

Worked for the environment,

Tried to clear the mess we made

But I wasn’t strong enough to stop things from going where they went.

At 18 I liked studying accounts

Maybe that’s what I’d do in life

I could work with accounts.

Life changed course , I lost all control

I was standing in the middle of the crowd, clueless as to which way I should go.

I found myself in college studying English

Aspiring once again to become what I thought I could never be

I’m graduating this year

That time has finally come

I have to make a decision and I am starting right where I begun.

I wish I could be a farmer , I know that might never be.

I watch the stars almost every night , but that dream is so far it’s hard to believe.

I still want to be an author, I’m just not sure if that’s for me.

I want to work for the world, a cause I never gave up

Only problem is , my own life is so messed up.

As I start to think about all the things that I have ever wanted to be

I think back and realize there is only one thing that was with me constantly.

The music stayed within me , I sang and played all along.

The longest that my memory goes back

I realize , it was the music that was always with me.

It’s what I always wanted it’s exactly what I should be.

This is who I always was , the music is in me.