Life as I see it

I have only recently realized that my perspective of life has undergone a dramatic change. And with this change in perspective came a profound change in the choices that I was making. However, what I also realize now is that there is one single pursuit in life that has remained constant; one that I have chased after with a diligent and unwavering fervor-The Pursuit of happiness.
Relationships have changed, people have changed, opinions have changed and so has pretty much everything that surrounds me. There is however, a single and undying want that I feel each one of us shares and that is the want for happiness. It also is not hard to guess what the next big question was-
 "what is happiness?"
Not to make it sound like a cliche but a lot of people would say the answer is success or achievement or wealth etc. I find that the answer to the meaning of happiness is always LOVE. That feeling of being loved or loving someone or something is such a basic instinct for human being that there seems to be no other correct answer.

My pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of love. Not just the obvious kind of love for or from another person or a pet, but simply the love for everything around me.

Fight or flight

Tears cloud the eye of the needle

that I have been trying so hard to thread.

The mind knows the harsh truth

Which the heart just won’t accept.

It sinks below and resurfaces again

It tries to dodge through reality’s game.

The mind hears the truth just whizzing past,

But the hand of comfort is protecting the heart.

The faith has been shaken

The trust is torn.

But a tiny speck of hope

Continues to live on.

I have been around,

big cities and small towns.

I have met people, been charmed,

I’ve been in love, been disarmed.

So why do you affect me so,

Oh friend of mine, my sorrow.

I’ve been through so much worse,

but you break me like a dark, irreversible curse.

I haven’t known you all that long,

we’ve only gone a few months strong.

Who gave you the power to break me down,

To shake my faith,  to wear the crown.

Now my smile lacks confidence,

I cannot make  more futile attempts.

If only you could have seen them then,

It’s too late now, you cannot make amends.

The word 'life', when spoken by someone ignorant of the english language, sounds like a sigh of relief.A sigh of relief from someone who had been holding their breath in dread or fear of the future.
For me ofcourse, that was pretty much all it meant, until only recently. When one day it occured to me that life is a whole, consisting of all those moments of dread and the relief that follows.
The sigh, however, quite contrary to my earlier belief, is a sign of relief at the idea that no matter what we dread or fear, no matter how many times we must face the dreaded things, that life will go on. And we will always find happiness in other things that will keep life going.

Ants on a hill

You’ve got everything they say.
Look around you; you’re blessed in every way.
I take them up on what they say,
I look around; up close and far away.

I see exactly what they see.
I hear them out and what they feel.
But what about my heart and me?
What do I really want for me?

I see them as little ants on a hill,
Walking and working to their fill.
If by doing the same I can cheer them up,
I’ll do the drill; slog up that hill.

But what is the end I ask myself,
Will they get me to where I want to be?
If I fall down, they won’t stop to help.
Heck, they won’t even turn to see.

Get me somewhere o’ crazy rhymes,
I despise walking these ruled out lines.
Let’s break the mould and draw our own,
I’m hoping these ants will change their minds.

An open book

This funny little girl I’ve known,
Since long before we could walk.
I thought I knew her inside out,
Until one day we sat down to talk.

I thought her life was perfect,
She had no fears or cares.
And then she told me the story,
Since after we had parted ways.

I’m an open book she says,
But someone tore a page.
And with that page the binding broke
That pain will never fade.

The colour crimson left my life,
I don’t think I will see it again.
I’m not sure if I even want to,
But you know..life has it’s ways.

That little girl left me that night,
Struggling with that little thought.
I sat up until the morning light,
Startled me out of my thoughts.

I was an open book I thought,
And someone had torn a page.
And with that page my binding broke,
but it no longer felt so strange.

The colour crimson had left our lives,
I was certain we’d see it again.
And at that time we both would know,
That the rainbow only follows the rain.

The musings of an ambivalent

These decisions are to big for me;
much bigger than myself.
Whoever do I want to be?
I'll never be able to guess!


Life seemed simple when I was young
even a month ago.
Now I feel tired and old, without a hint
as to where I want to go.


Who will I be in life
what will I have to do
I want to end this mental strife
I just need a clue.


Nobody here to hold my hand,
nobody to decide.
It's me who needs to take a stand
it can no longer bide the time.

And after all this encouraging talk I feel
I've over-worked myself.
Now it's time to take a break
and put my feet up on the desk!