The word 'life', when spoken by someone ignorant of the english language, sounds like a sigh of relief.A sigh of relief from someone who had been holding their breath in dread or fear of the future.
For me ofcourse, that was pretty much all it meant, until only recently. When one day it occured to me that life is a whole, consisting of all those moments of dread and the relief that follows.
The sigh, however, quite contrary to my earlier belief, is a sign of relief at the idea that no matter what we dread or fear, no matter how many times we must face the dreaded things, that life will go on. And we will always find happiness in other things that will keep life going.

Ants on a hill

You’ve got everything they say.
Look around you; you’re blessed in every way.
I take them up on what they say,
I look around; up close and far away.

I see exactly what they see.
I hear them out and what they feel.
But what about my heart and me?
What do I really want for me?

I see them as little ants on a hill,
Walking and working to their fill.
If by doing the same I can cheer them up,
I’ll do the drill; slog up that hill.

But what is the end I ask myself,
Will they get me to where I want to be?
If I fall down, they won’t stop to help.
Heck, they won’t even turn to see.

Get me somewhere o’ crazy rhymes,
I despise walking these ruled out lines.
Let’s break the mould and draw our own,
I’m hoping these ants will change their minds.

An open book

This funny little girl I’ve known,
Since long before we could walk.
I thought I knew her inside out,
Until one day we sat down to talk.

I thought her life was perfect,
She had no fears or cares.
And then she told me the story,
Since after we had parted ways.

I’m an open book she says,
But someone tore a page.
And with that page the binding broke
That pain will never fade.

The colour crimson left my life,
I don’t think I will see it again.
I’m not sure if I even want to,
But you know..life has it’s ways.

That little girl left me that night,
Struggling with that little thought.
I sat up until the morning light,
Startled me out of my thoughts.

I was an open book I thought,
And someone had torn a page.
And with that page my binding broke,
but it no longer felt so strange.

The colour crimson had left our lives,
I was certain we’d see it again.
And at that time we both would know,
That the rainbow only follows the rain.

The musings of an ambivalent

These decisions are to big for me;
much bigger than myself.
Whoever do I want to be?
I'll never be able to guess!


Life seemed simple when I was young
even a month ago.
Now I feel tired and old, without a hint
as to where I want to go.


Who will I be in life
what will I have to do
I want to end this mental strife
I just need a clue.


Nobody here to hold my hand,
nobody to decide.
It's me who needs to take a stand
it can no longer bide the time.

And after all this encouraging talk I feel
I've over-worked myself.
Now it's time to take a break
and put my feet up on the desk!

Oliver

Black spots on white like snow
his tiny pink paws and wet little nose
big brown eyes and sharp little claws
he's the bundle of joy we all adore.

We chose him from among five other pups
it should've been the other way, but I think he chose us.
he checked me out with his liquid gaze
and I knew him at once, I'm still quite amazed.

Now he is all we talk about at home,
we watch and follow how he has grown.
He has taught us to watch where we walk,
nothing profound, this is literal talk.

Where the love is lost

I wonder where the love is lost
Somewhere on the way to here
from the place where we began.
We lost the thing we cherished most
the love for which this journey began.

In this mad race of life
You ran too fast and left me behind
I waited for you to turn back for me
You never did, never realized.

For some distance I could see your back
As you ran, to win god knows what
Not once did you look back
never gave me a single thought.

And now the love is forever lost
nothing will ever be the same
You won your race at the cost of love
And I'm no longer even in the frame.

A friend in silence

Silence is my only friend
I chanced upon him at yet another bend
It took no time at all to tell
that this friend here would stay till the end.

We walked in silence, along life's road
sometimes warm, at others cold.
He kept up with me all the while
without a word,stood silently by.

When night's became too dark to see
and the days blindingly bright
My silent friend walked ahead of me
taking my hand and acting the guide.

Now all alone in this din,
where noise seems to have no end
I stand in a corner, waiting for him
My only hope, my silent friend.